


2005

by leiascully



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-03
Updated: 2005-01-03
Packaged: 2017-10-03 07:26:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiascully/pseuds/leiascully
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year in the life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	2005

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: Santos Campaign  
> A/N: A series of drabbles.  
> Disclaimer: _The West Wing_ and all related characters are property of Aaron Sorkin, Thomas Schlamme, and NBC. No profit is made from this work and no infringement is intended.

Josh peeled the plastic wrap away from a calendar. It clung to his fingers; he shook his hand until his wrist crackled and finally scraped the stuff off on the edge of the trash can. January. A placid lake. It was one of those chintzy landscape calendars that were supposed to calm your mind or something. He had never believed the hype. He fished in a drawer, looking for a pushpin. He couldn't find one. He began to shout for Donna, remembered, and choked on the second syllable.

She'd only been gone three weeks. He'd gone through seven temps.

 

February. He lunched with Santos daily at the same café near her new workplace, distracted by every blonde head. On Valentine's day he sent her a dozen roses without a card and fidgeted by the phone. Her assistant - her assistant! - informed him that she was in a meeting, but she'd leave a message if he liked. He could hear the pen poised over the message pad.

"Tell her..." he faltered. "Tell her Josh Lyman called. No, nevermind." He hung up.

There was a message on his machine when he got home. "Josh?" He closed his eyes as he listened. "It's Donna."

 

March was in like a lion and out like a lion. Josh wore the collar of his coat turned up. CJ told him he looked like a secret agent and took his resignation without complaint.

"We'll miss you around here," she said. "Have you slept at all since she left?"

"Who?"

"Josh." Her eyes were compassionate. He looked away, at the paintings that had been Leo's.

"Not much."

"Is Santos the real thing?"

He could look her in the eye and answer that one. "Yes."

"Think of me when you're hiring, then." She smiled. "We really will miss you, Joshua."

 

April teased him with warm weather. He walked along the river and rolled his shirt sleeves up.

This time when he called, she was in.

"I can't get this line out of my head," he said by way of hello. "Wholly to be a fool while spring is in the world, it goes, and that's all I've got."  
"Isn't that e.e. cummings?"

"Poet laureate Donna Moss."

"How have you been? I haven't heard from you in months. Thanks for the roses."

"Oh, you know." His head ached with missing her. "Are you free for dinner?"

He heard paper rustle. "Yes."

 

He kissed her for the first time on her birthday. It was a soft May night. The apartment was packed with senior staffers present and past. Even Sam had flown in. Josh had escaped momentarily to the stoop, listening to Santos hold court in the living room and counting time in his head between the highlights.

"Hey." Donna eased down beside him, crossing her bare ankles. "Feeling all right?"

He smiled at her. "Sure. Glad you're here."

"Where else would I be?"

He kissed her then, tentatively, cancelling painful memories of snowflakes in Amy's dark hair. Donna touched his face.

 

Josh took Donna with him to Manchester in June, afraid to damage their fledgling relationship, but he couldn't face the decline of a father figure alone. Donna understood. They drove up to New Hampshire, took the dirt road to the house that was far from the things of man, and watched Jed struggle to lift a hand in welcome.

"Still doing the people's work," he'd said jovially.

"Yes, sir."

"Oh, don't call me sir. You kids are family." Jed looked at them affectionately. He seemed happy, and Abbey was radiant, but Josh wanted to weep. Donna opened her arms to him.

 

The Fourth of July party was at CJ's. Most days Josh was too busy with work to miss her or Toby or Charlie. The rest of the time he was busy marveling over the fact that Donna seemed to love him. At moments like these the joy came back. He put his arm around Donna and watched Toby's twins totter about.  
"We should schedule a lunch," he said. "Once a month. Once a week. Just to check in."  
"Absolutely," said CJ. "When are we all free?"

"Never," said Toby.

"We'll work something out." For that moment, life was perfect.

 

August. He and Donna were moving so slowly. The rest of his life was moving so fast. He didn't know what he wanted or why he was being so cautious when g-d, he loved her, and it ate him up inside. And she loved him. She told him so, all those soft quiet evenings they spent together on his couch, working in companionable silence. If he had any doubts, they were soothed away by the warmth of her lips on his as she kissed him good night every night.

They hadn't slept together. He was afraid that she would leave.

 

In September they both started traveling. He couldn't understand what she saw in Bingo Bob, but at least he could say that he loved her without caring that someone heard. His staff teased him good-naturedly about sleeping with the enemy. Josh smiled at that and pretended he had no idea what they were talking about.

One night during a coincidence of candidate convergence she came to his hotel room. He touched the pale skin of her belly.

"Do you really think I could leave you?" she said.

"You did before."

"Now?"

He studied her. "No."

She drew him down gently.

 

Every time he saw the pale flutter of October leaves, he thought of her, and the soft fall of her hair. Every time he was somewhere sunny and warm, he thought of her, and the sleekness of her alabaster skin. Santos teased him gently, asking where his mind was.

He had worn the numbers off the buttons of his cell phone calling her. She laughed at him for not being able to program any of his electronics.

"Keep your head in the game, Josh," she said. "I'll be here after next November."

"You know how I worry," he said lightly.

 

Game time, he thought over and over. The calendar told him it was November, but now he counted months like days and his body hummed. He lost weight. He watched the news - of course he watched the news - sneering at Russell but hoping every time for a glimpse of Donna. He was often rewarded.

"You look thin," she said.

"I'm okay," he told her. "I miss you."

He wanted to tell her he loved her, wanted to propose or at least ask her to move in after the campaign, but when he thought of her the months telescoped into minutes.

 

"Are you going home for Christmas?" he asked, tracing patterns on her bare back. It was rare that they had a few hours to meet. This time it was a whole luxurious day.

"Probably not," she said. "We're so busy these days. Less than a year."

"Tell me about it." He kissed the places where his fingers had been, measuring out his words. "Do you want to do Christmas together?"

"Do you do Christmas?"

"I could learn. It was just a thought."

She rolled over, pushing her hair out of her face. "I want to do every Christmas with you."


End file.
